So, there I was. A vertigo sufferer, ten metres up a ladder, one hand clutching a heavily loaded paint brush and the other, white knuckles gripping the top rung tightly enough to indent the aluminium. Somewhere beneath the folds and creases of my overall, Mozart's 40th belted out.
The following seconds took a lifetime. Juggle hands, the brush, go into at least four hundred and forty two pockets, retrieve the phone, press the little green button, and prevent myself from hurtling towards the cold hard concrete below
"Is that Handyandy?" They opened
"Yes. How can I help you?" There was a wet sensation on the upper side of my head. Damn! In the confusion I had somehow passed the brush from my right hand and upon placing the mobile to my ear was now painting the side of my head a rather fetching china blue.
"I need your help....and I need it quick!" The caller sounded more out of breath than I was. "I've been doing some DIY..." he continued as I rolled my eyes into the top of my head. "....and I've got serious problems."
My caller, against the advice of his wife who clearly doubted her husband's abilities, had decided 'getting a man in' was going to be too costly. Afterall, he only wanted an extra doorway from his lounge room into his kitchen. How hard could it be?
He had knocked a 'small' hole in a 'structural wall' and had 'somehow' fractured a pipe causing his living room to fill with water.
Twenty minutes later I was staring into a sunken lounge room fast resembling a state room on the Titianic moments before it slipped beneath the icy surface of the Atlantic ocean to the murky depths below. Had he turned the water off? I ran for the stop tap outside.
LESSON # 1 - BEFORE DOING ANY DIY ALWAYS CHECK WHERE WATER AND GAS PIPES AND ELECTRICAL CABLES RUN !!! IF YOU ARE IN THE SLIGHTEST DOUBT CALL IN A TRADESMAN, IF THERE ARE, HAVE THEM ISOLATED BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING.
Its also a good idea to take measurements and not guess that the water pipes in the laundry on the other side of the lounge room wall aren't near OR RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of where you are trying to make a hole.(The kitchen was almost a metre away from where he thought it was).
As for the structural wall....it wasn't. But why he entertained the idea of launching a ten pound lump hammer at a wall he thought was holding up the back half of the house and much of the roof is probably only known by his therapist and possibly God.
The outcome? I sent him for a pump to get the water out and let it dry for a couple of days. I repaired and re-routed the pipes and put in his doorway, complete with door, repainted and he was a happy man. The wife was on holiday visiting relatives and she is blissfully unaware and thought he had done the right thing and 'got a man in'. (I assume she is unaware - I have done much more work there since and she hasn't mentioned it).
This is just one of the many times I have been called upon to sort out someone else’s mess and often wonder why Dentists never get calls requiring help because someone has decided to fill his or her own teeth
Do you have any disaster stories? Do you need any help or advice about how to do something for yourself? If you do, put up a post and (if it’s a disaster story) give us a laugh, if its advice I'll do my best to help.
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